


The End of WAAAGH! Smashface

by Saint_Miroku



Category: Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Gen, Literature, Sci-Fi, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2020-04-08 06:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19101661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Miroku/pseuds/Saint_Miroku
Summary: Seemingly on top of the world, Warboss Smashface suffers greatly following the loss of the shiny bridges at the hands of the Blood Ravens chapter of Space Marines. A one shot obviously based on the optional mission from Dawn of War II: Retribution. I don't know why I was suddenly compelled to give this random Warboss more of a story, but I was. Rated M for violence and gore.





	The End of WAAAGH! Smashface

    As he continued crushing Chaos Cultists to pulp, Shashface couldn't help but admire how well things were going. His WAAAGH! was finally starting to gain some momentum, and with the sudden increase in Cadian and Heretic forces in the sector, even the simple act of protecting convoys was exciting, as there wouldd always be an enemy to fight nearby. His only real concern was the Nob he'd assigned to lead the operation. That git had all the brains of a Warpheadz pet Squig, and Smashface knew that it was only a matter of time before he zogged up royally and cost the whole WAAAGH! dearly. Regardless, the Warboss reassured himself, no matter how stupid he was, there was no way that any Nob could botch the job of driving slowly and passing through the lucky shiny bridges, that's why he'd been given that task. In the next raid, that git would end up as a green smear in the sand one way or another.

    Smashface swung his Chain Choppa, reducing the nearest cultist to a red mist. Another tried to attack him from behind wielding a simple metal club, only to be split in half by the great Ork's weapon. He turned to his side and saw yet another Cultist becoming enveloped in a strange pink glow.

    “Dark powers hear my praye-” the Cultist began to shout before being tenderized by the Warboss' attack. 

    “The Ascendant will be triumphant!” shouted a new figure clad in dark red Power Armor, charging towards the boss with a Chainsword of his own. Upon reaching Smashface, the Space Marine swung his sword with great zeal, only to find that the Ork had grabbed hold of his arm. Before he could even react, Smashface counter attacked, plunging his Choppa deep into the Space Marine's shoulder and pushed down, first being hit by a torrent of sparks before being coated in superhuman gore. He then threw the Marine's shattered form to the ground before reaching down and removing his scarred and battered helmet.

    “Puny gitz can't even keep dere kit lookin' nice enough fer me Bosspole...” Smashface said before reluctantly placing the battered relic atop a large metal spike affixed to his back. 

    Suddenly, a Gretchin controlling a primitive radio contraption spoke up, “Boss, dat Nob dats in charge of da convoy's tryin' call us!”

    “Well patch 'im through ya git!” Smashface said, moving closer to the radio.

    After a brief moment of static, the Nob's voice could be heard, “Umm, boss? Dey destroyed dose shiny bridges yous liked...”

    “Wot? Youz bettah be lyin' ta me boy, and youz bettah be dead before I git dere cuz I don't likes bein' lied ta!” Smashface screamed, his relatively calm mood being replaced by one of pure rage. He then violently shoved the Gretchin aside, shouting, “Now outta me way! Looks like I gotta do all da work meself. And when I'z done fightin' yer all getting' yer faces smashed!” 

    The Warboss was now furious, not only did that git just ruin a simple task of escorting convoys, he'd managed to let the fabled shiny bridges be destroyed as well, robbing his WAAAGH! of their inherent luck.

    Smashface turned to the Ork Boyz behind him, who were finishing up with the last of the cultists and shouted, “Boyz! Finish up 'ere, wez got some gitz to smash!” 

    “WAAAGH!” the Orks responded with their usual level of excitement. 

    Smashface then began to move out, angrily stomping through the sand until he reached the supply station. The situation he found there was grim, indeed, the shiny bridges had been utterly destroyed, and he saw several Space Marine Devastators armed with Lascannons making short work of his vehicles, while the Boyz were being torn to shreds by Bolter rounds. 

    The Warboss immediately came under attack as he felt several extreme bursts of heat pelt his body, burning away a small amount of his skin. This pain didn't bother Smashface though, as he just shrugged it off and immediately turned to face his attacker, a Techmarine armed with a Plasma Gun, and charged towards him at full speed. Smashface quickly smashed into the Marine, knocking him to the ground with great force.

    “Yer helmet'll look great on me Bosspole!” he roared, raising his Chain Choppa to strike a killing blow before he felt his hide burst from the rounds of a Bolt Pistol.

    He turned once more to see a helmet-less Space Marine in Artificer Armor charging towards him shouting, “Death to his enemies all!” 

    “Yer Empra'z a Grot 'umie!” Smashface roared, rushing to meet the enemy commander.

    The Warboss swung his weapon with great force, only to find that his opponent had dodged it's blow, leaving the Chain Choppa lodged in the burning desert soil. The Force Commander didn't hesitate for an instant to capitalize on this fact, and quickly proceeded to start cutting through the Ork's now exposed wrist. Smashface howled in pain as his wrist was forcefully separated from his hand, as torrents of blood ran freely from the Warboss' now exposed stump. He began swinging rapidly with his remaining fist, trying to land a blow on the enemy combatant to no avail. Eventually, the Captain was able to land a blow on Smashface's stomach, driving his roaring Chain Blade into the beast's innards until the Warboss collapsed to the ground, no longer able to fight.

    With his vision rapidly growing blurry Smashface looked up at the sky, the harsh desert sun beaming into his eyes before being completely covered up by the smooth head of his opponent looming over him. 

    “The Emperor rules all, filth!” Apollo Diomedes shouted before raising his bolt pistol and firing one final shot into the Ork's skull. And with that, WAAAGH! Smashface had finally come to an end. 


End file.
